Thoughts
by umbreonblue
Summary: What J and Hayakawa think of each other.


Hayakawa's POV

It feels like yesterday, but it was only a few months ago that we entered this world. I'm grateful for Tachibana-san for taking me in. But J… he can hold one hell of a grudge.

I understand that J was mad at me for a long while…but he's frustrating sometimes. So narrow-minded and focused on his goals…but I'm glad this world and his friends have helped changed that. I admit that he's about as strong as me, maybe even stronger…but don't tell him I said that.

That Butler competition showed me how much he's grown. I'm so proud of him. Again, don't tell him I said that.

Still…when he finally figured it out… He was angry and raging. I admit that I could've communicated better with him but…what's done is done. I told him the truth, and he was about to ask me something when Mikuni interrupted. I never did hear what J wanted to ask me. Note to self: Get J to ask me what he couldn't before.

In the fight against Mikuni, it felt like old times…when we would fight our enemies together. When I pat his back, it was my way of encouraging him. It was like saying, "You can do this." I knew J understood since we've known each other for so long now.

At the end of it all, I went over to J and answered his questions. I was so proud of him for making the right decision. When J started crying with grief, I kneeled down and put a hand on his shoulder, silently saying, "It's OK. I'm here for you." I said what I wanted to say to him, but when he smiled at me, saying that he was glad to have me here with him, I was surprised for a second. I haven't seen that smile in such a long time…it reminded me of Tenna's. I felt…something. I can't tell what it is though. I could only smile back at him.

These days, we've been getting along better than before. J's had to work part-time at the café for a while to pay tuition. Having to lecture J again was nostalgic…in a sense. Also, I get to tease him for wearing the butler outfit. I'm pretty sure he's still annoyed at me for that.

I still can't identify this feeling I've had towards J lately… It may be brotherly love…or something more than that. I don't know, but we have all the time in the world to figure it out.

As for Tenna… I still love her, but I've let go. J's let go too, I think. We both have to move on and live…she'd want that. We'll never forget her though. Of that, I'm certain.

As for what happens next… We can handle it together.

* * *

J's POV

It feels like yesterday, but it was only a few months ago that we entered this world. I'm grateful for Mikuni for taking me in…even though he's a bastard for trying to destroy this world. But I digress… while I can hold a grudge, I can't hold it forever.

I was mad at Hayakawa-san for a while…mostly for not telling me anything. He did eventually…but that's beside the point. He held back for so long, I was starting to get frustrated. But… I'm glad he has a friend in Tachibana-san like I have my friends at school. I admit he used to be better than me at everything, he still is, but I managed to barely catch up to him. Don't tell him I said that.

The Butler competition showed me that compared to Hayakawa-san, I still have a long way to go. Don't tell him I said that either.

Still…when I figured it out, I was so angry at him for not telling me sooner. I admit, I could've communicated through words instead of fists, but it made me feel better, OK! When he told me the truth… I couldn't believe it at first, but I know he would never lie to me about this. I was about to ask him, "Why would you want to protect me?" before Mikuni interrupted us. I doubt Hayakawa-san will remember, but I will never ask him that now!

During the fight with Mikuni…it felt like old times, when we would fight our enemies together. I kind of miss that… When he patted my back, it was his way of encouraging me. I understood his unsaid words, and fought with all I've got.

At the end of it all, I was tired… I asked him what I wanted to ask and he answered. I was so full of emotions. Sadness, grief, relief, happiness… I made the right decision but… Then, I started crying. Crying for my sister, who I'll likely never see again. Hayakawa-san kneeled down and when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I understood his unsaid words, "It's OK. I'm here." After he said what he wanted to say to me, I smiled at him, saying what I felt. That I'm glad he's here with me. I'm sure that surprised him, but he still smiled at me. I felt… something I couldn't describe at the time.

These days, we've been getting along better than before. I've had to work part-time at the café for tuition money. Having Hayakawa-san lecture me is nostalgic…and annoying. Plus, the butler outfit… I doubt he'll let me live it down.

I still can't identify this feeling I've had towards Hayakawa-san…It may be brotherly love…or something more than that. I don't know, but we have all the time in the world to figure it out.

As for Tenna… I still love my little sister, but I've moved on. Hayakawa-san too, probably. We both have to move on and live…she'd want that. We'll never forget her though. Never.

As for what happens next… I'm sure we can handle it together.

* * *

Omake:

"J…"

"Hm?"

"Before Mikuni interrupted, what were you going to ask me?"

"Uh… nothing."

"J…" Hayakawa gave a stern look, before softening his eyes, "Please tell me? I don't think I'll sleep well tonight if you don't tell me."

"Good luck with that," J tries to escape.

Hayakawa catches him by the collar, dragging him back. "J… if you don't tell me," Hayakawa makes J face him, leaning in close, "I might do something I'll regret."

J blushes, trying to turn his head away, but Hayakawa wouldn't let him, so he said in a small voice, "I…I was going to ask… why you would… want to protect me…"

Hayakawa blinked before answering, "I protect you, not just because of my duty as a Butler, but because I want to. You're my family, J. I don't want to lose you."

J's look of surprise was worth it, "Hayakawa-san… You're my family too. I don't want to lose you either."

They hug each other, sighing satisfactorily in each other's arms. When they let go, J asks, "Were you really going to kiss me if I didn't say it?"

"Maybe…" Hayakawa smirks.

J raises an eyebrow before grabbing Hayakawa by the collar and dragging him down to his level, "How about now?"

Hayakawa smiles, giving J a quick peck on the lips, making J jump back blushing. "That enough of an answer for you?" he asks, a smile still plastered on his face.

J holds a hand to his mouth, blush still there, and nods before running off. Hayakawa shakes his head before touching a finger to his lips, 'That felt good… Maybe I'll try that again.'

J on the other hand….'That felt… good? Maybe…? Agh! So embarrassing…'

* * *

The next time they meet…

"Do you regret that…k-kiss?" J stutters.

"Nope. Do you?" Hayakawa smiles like always.

"Maybe…a little…?" J says shyly, like a deer in the headlights.

"Want me to convince you not to regret it?" Hayakawa says, smile still plastered on his face, but his eyes look predatory.

J just silently nods, and so, they kiss until neither of them regrets it.


End file.
